30 May 2011

'Ahem'

"excuse me miss, do you work here?" No. I wear Old Navy Flag shirts with staff across the back, and a name tag, for fun. "yes I do, how can I help you?"

"Oh I'm sorry, let me unfold what you're fixing" (messes up freshly folded pile) oh go right ahead. Leave the mess. You're only the reason I'm here until midnight. "Oh you're fine, go right ahead"

"Wow. That's awfully messy..." Is it now? Weird, I had no idea... (Sitting in the middle of the mountain of clothes) "Haha, yeah it is"

"Oh, are you guys closing?" No. We spontaneously turn off the music, shut off half the lights and lock the in door, just because we can. "Yeah in a few minutes"

"Which color do you like better?" Well, neither, that shirt is hideous and will look awful no matter which color you choose. "oh the red one for sure"

"I'm sorry, you're closing I should probably hurry up huh?" Please. I have a social life, and a bedtime. You're the only reason I'm still here. "Oh don't worry about it, take your time"

25 May 2011

Clicking Pens and Tapping Feet

I want out. Now. There's only a week left. Countdown 7 days until I walk to retrieve my diploma. Once that puppy is tightly in my grasp, I'm running away. Running away knowing I'm done. No more teachers to send me in the hall for my speaking without thinking. No more crowded hallways filled with PDA, crack, and cussing. No more classes I can't stand. No more class at 7:45.
No More.
Sure, I could be nostalgic and list the many things I will probably miss about high school and being a teenager. But that's for another day. A day when I'm not itching to leave the hallways that seem to constantly be closing in on me. A day when I'm not dying to leave the kids that judge and treat me based upon my rumored past.
I'm ready for my new start, a summer, a new beginning.

I'm 19 in 3 months. I start college in 3 months. I'm scared out of my wits and couldn't be more excited about it.

22 May 2011

It's beginning...

The flag tee's with STAFF printed largely across the back.
The way too many amount of new co-workers that think I'm more new to the job than them, due to my countless absences during softball season.
The millions of flip-flops strewn across the floor.
The random occurrence of the partner-less shoe.
The sun still up at closing time.
The struggle with hangers not because the wide necked sweaters never stay on, but because the small strap dresses enjoy entangling themselves with one another.
The pure confusion when searching for the home of a random t-shirt.
The newfangled ugly designed clothes we are all positive were designed by children or drugged adults.

It's beginning.

The summer at Old Navy

As Zion's Youth In Latter Days

We graduate from Seminary on a fine, rainy, Sunday evening.

Listening to the comments made by those at the pulpit, my mind started whirling. It really is coming to an end, the happy routine you've known since the sweet age of 15 is stopping completely, and those you've grown to love could possibly disappear from your life forever.

This could all be a very good thing. New opportunities, new friends, new places, new routines, new desires. It could be amazing.

But then again, we're leaving behind all we knew, and all we've come to know since we could walk.
The ties we made in elementary school have begun to fade over the years, and will almost completely disappear in our lives. The friendships we made in middle school have either continued to blossom, or have turned into plateaued relationships. With the occasional visits every few months. The bonds we've made in high school have come to be some of the strongest ones we've ever known. And they will either continue or cease to exist. It's how life is I suppose.

Let's live up these next 2 very short weeks. Forgetting about colleges, money, and futures. Let's bask in our own glow. The glow that comes from knowing we've finished. Let's forget who won prom queen, who was SB president, who dated the most girls, who was a game winning starter and who started left bench consistently, who had the best hair, who took the most pictures, and who wore most fashionable ensemble. Let's just enjoy each other while we still can.

13 May 2011

Constants

When AP tests come to a conclusion, school begins to wind down, and summer comes into our sights, I begin to remember the constant re-occurring pieces of bliss.
-Returning to self chosen books, not the ones that must be read with an analytical view, but ones you can simply read for the joy of reading
-The smell of cut grass
-The warm sun that always makes me want to wash a car
-The joy of knowing that there is nothing to do
-The almost mid-point until Christmas that turns me to holiday tunes for half an hour or so
-More sit down dinners, now that everyone isn't so busy anymore
-The constant movies in every class
-The observing of Summer romances beginning to spring up
-Laziness

Cristian Martinez

I don't believe there to be any boy out there with a stronger spirit or sweeter disposition. He's my best friend, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

He listens to me at 1 or 2 in the morning, when I can't even understand myself. He calms me down, and shares with me his testimony and love for life. With his rock solid testimony and pure love for the scriptures, my attitude about everything always changes. Always.

He sees the bigger picture. That there is something truly wonderful waiting for all of us, that we just have to wait, try our best, and reach for God's hand when we slip.

His life is harder than mine. He goes through things I can't even comprehend. But he does them with a smile on his face.

He's the true definition of a role model.

08 May 2011

Senioritis or Defeat?

Perhaps I've been blaming my absences throughout my daily life on my soon to be graduation. But, deep down, I know I've been defeated.
-Softball looses it's appeal it's had all my life. The season couldn't have ended any sooner for me. As horrible of a taste that phrase in my mouth. It's real.
-Music playing lost all it's fire. I blamed my lack of practicing and skill on softball season and complete lack of time. But, turns out I just didn't want to play. But after rejection letters, and a complete memory loss in the middle of the state performance.... maybe it's time I set my violin down. I've never forgotten a song while playing it before. Especially a song I've had memorized since February. What happened during my state performance was utterly embarrassing. Something I wish to never relive. My recital on Saturday, and Senior recital next month have turned into burdens rather than celebratory events. Stage fright full throttle. What has become of me?
-Homework time turns into reading time. I'm passing my classes and graduating regardless of these last few assignments. Why not catch up on Harry Ron and Hermione instead of parameters, confidence intervals, and persuasive essays.

I'm not giving up on life. I'm not even sure I'm ready for my new chapter to start come September. But maybe it's time to reevaluate my reality, and patch up the holes that have been created these past few months.